Neena: Morning. I'll see you at the deposition. I'll try not to spank your
lawyer as hard as I spanked him last night.
J.D.: Bye! FYI, there was no spanking last night, okay?
Carla: Really? Then this won't hurt. [She smacks him on the ass]
Turk: Hit him again baby. [She does]
Carla: J.D., how could you do this to Turk? You two are so close that I
occasionally have nightmares of you running away together.
J.D.: Where do we go?
Turk: One time we went to Aspen.
J.D.: Oh, I hope it was summer. I'm not that big a skier.
Carla: Girls! I want an explanation.
J.D.: Fine. Turk, tell her our code.
Turk: [As J.D. mouths the words behind him] If you haven't had sex in six
months, you're not accountable for who you sleep with.
Carla: Oh please, when you were single, you were never that desperate...
[Flash to Turk with a rather large woman]
Woman: Oh that was amazing.
Turk: [Who's been pressed into the mattress] Yes, it was.
[Flash back to Admissions]
Turk: We're all God's children in the dark.
Carla: Christopher Duncan Turk, you tell him how you really feel, just like
you told me last night, or I will do it for you. [She begins her impression
of Turk crying] Baby! Why does he hurt me so bad?
Neena: Now, Mr. Corman is contending that the shoulder surgery he received
ruined his tennis serve. I'd like to start by asking Dr. Turk if his
diabetes could have affected his performance in surgery.
Kelso: You're diabetic?
Turk: Yes. I told you that.
Kelso: I thought you were joking.
Turk: How is that funny?
Kelso: Well, it's a very serious disease. And I don't like you.